Heroine [song in progress?]

Sometimes I read a poem and think it is really a song waiting for the right music. I often wonder if this is because of my passion for music and for songwriters whose lyrics can stand alone like a poem. Some songwriters, such as Leonard Cohen and Patti Smith, have proven their poetic talent independent of their music; others find a place in one of my JulieBooks because their lyrics haunt me long after the music has faded.

I read this piece as a poem, but maybe it just needs the right music. If you are a musician and can hear the song this poem is waiting for, I’d love to hear what you come up with!

Heroine

I am not a heroine—
no warrior, no angel, no queen.
Sure I’m slaying some dragons
but only if they threaten me.
So if you need a rescue
don’t come knocking on my door.
Been there, done that
and the result always
leaves me more helpless than before.

I am not heroin—
not your drug, your escape, your crutch.
I’m not yours to use and abuse,
to consume until all is gone.
So if you thrive on addiction
don’t think you can squeeze me dry.
Been there, done that
and the result always
leaves me bleeding on the inside.

You taught me a lesson
and I learned it well:
Giving has a limit
but taking never ends.
You locked me in a tower
but I don’t need the key;
you left the window open
and I set myself free.

I am not a heroine—
no warrior, no angel, no queen.
But maybe the girl down the road
can see there is strength inside me
Perhaps one day she will say,
“I too can leave this mess I’m in.
Been there, done that
and the result this time
will make a heroine of me.”

—Julie Laing

You can hear me read this poem at the Kalispell Get Poetry Open Mic, thanks to the work of Mat Lee and The Jamhole. Other poems in this reading are “circles” and “Giving Up.”

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